everything was sucks.. in study, in life plus the family problem.. i dont think i can handle it by myself. i wonder my mummy can kept all these secretly, without telling anyone. not even ayah. it must been hard for her. from the expression of her face, i known that something is going on here. she must been suffered. i really want to hug her but this HUG thing is not my way.. i mean we .. I dont practically hug her or ayah or my other sibling. we all not a hugger- person. not trained well since we were kid. so, as im in home, im trying to do something to be everything meaningful like, i told mummy that i want to jog. the next day, ayah asked me to accompany him jogged at Taman Tengku Anis. it was really nice.. riding a motorcycle with him, all old memories were coming back because he used to send me to school and he were like mat rempit.. sangat laju okay, i still remembered this.. another meaningful memories was, we all sembahyang jemaah together. mummy teach me how to sembahyang properly(which is she learn from 30 minit with Ustaz Don a.k.a boyfriend mummy). like always, Amalina is seating for SPM, she ask me to teach her add math. . i know that i used to be a bad sister. right now, i am trying to be a good sister. be someone that they can rely on, someone that they can ask anything, as a friend not an enemy. so, i need to study harder. master in it. O Allah, please make everything smooth as silk. please make my dream come true. please make my only Ayah fit as usual. please keep my family close. please keep all my friends close because i hate fighting. i know i made a lot of mistake, if only i can turn to the past, i will not fall us apart. unfortunately i cant, so i just pray and i wont let it happen again. not anymore. friends is important too. they are just my second family. i love them all. amin..
