Her Love Life

Katy Perry says her ex-husband Russell Brand, the British comedian/actor, that she "was in love with him when I married him" in 2010.

But she hasn't heard from him since Brand sent her a text on New Year's Eve 2011 saying he wanted a divorce, about 14 months later.

Perry, 28, says she blamed herself for their breakup until she "found out the real truth," which she wouldn't disclose.

True, he's very funny, she says, but that didn't help when he made jokes about her at one of his shows, unaware she had showed up to surprise him in the audience.

"I felt a lot of responsibility for it ending, but then I found out the real truth, which I can't necessarily disclose because I keep it locked in my safe for a rainy day," she says. "I let go and I was like: This isn't because of me; this is beyond me. So I have moved on from that.

“That wasn’t edited to leave footage out — there wasn’t any footage of him,” says Perry.

“At first when I met him he wanted an equal, and I think a lot of times strong men do want an equal, but then they get that equal and they’re like, I can’t handle the equalness,” she reflects. “He didn’t like the atmosphere of me being the boss on tour. So that was really hurtful, and it was very controlling, which was upsetting.”

She also opens up about her on-again-off-again relationship with singer John Mayer, which is now over, she says, although she "was madly in love with him" and still is.

"All I can say about that relationship is that he's got a beautiful mind," she says. "Beautiful mind, tortured soul. I do have to figure out why I am attracted to these broken birds."

Writer Vicki Woods calls Perry "exceptionally sweet company." She talks about growing up in what Woods calls an "extremely odd childhood" with her parents, traveling evangelical ministers who would not send her to public schools but were funny and smart.

"I'm not in a relationship, I'm just on my own — I am myself in my own bed," Perry tells Woods. "I have to be happy being alone, and I am happy."

She tries so hard, Katy Perry. It's what she does. "I believe that I will be loved again, in the right way." Bright-eyed, she looks up. "I know I'm worth it."