November 10th 2014.
4 years ago, he introduced Aaja to me. We're met at kedai mamak near to my aunt's house. she is just fine, to me. but to others, she got negative respond and i dont know why. since i knew her, she help me a lot. whenever i ask her for help, she never refuse or give any excuses. she just help me, in term of transportation or money or advises or anything. she just be herself.
2 weeks before fasting month, she want me to accompany her to Nilai 3, surveying/buying for her wedding. when i saw her, i was shock. she looked very thin, pale and sick. because last time when we're when out she is very energetic and healthy. so i asked her is she okay? she told me that she just tired. my heart refuse to agree with what she said. later on, i ask my brother, is she sick or something? because she look fragile. my brother told me that its been 2/3 month he did'nt meet her. she mengidam ikan siakap steam and tomyam. i still remember her face eating that fish, excited sangat. it was the last time that we're hangout together .
then she were admitted to the general hospital KB. when i saw her at hospital, i cant help myself from crying. she looked horrible. i ask myself, is she the girl that i met 4years ago? she look thin, very thin. her leg is just 4 fingers size. she cant talk properly. she is not herself. she told me, she's in pain, she cant get married, so its your turn. you may use all the doorgift that i had bought. i just smile to her. since then, i didnt visit her.
one night, i called her. im begging her not to die yet.
' Ajaa, jangan mati lagi. kalau Ajaa mati nanti baby nak keluar dengan sapa. kalau baby ada problem, baby nak cari sapa. Ajaa kena kuat! baby doa Ajaa kuat. '
' sakit baby. Ajaa tak kuat. Ajaa tak tahan dah. sakit sangat'
'..... jangan mati lagi,'
monday morning,class finish earlier than usual. i just prepare myself to sleep. at 4pm, my brother texting me,
' Ajaa tengah nazak tu, jom balik KB. mungkin ni kali terakhir kita tengok dia '
'ok, aku packing. jumpa di putra'
tak sempat nak jumpa, dia dah pergi. i cant even ask her for forgiveness. i cant even see her face. i cant even hug her.
i feel lost.
اللهم اغفرله وارحمه وعافه واعف عنه وأكرم نُزُله. ووسع مُدخله. واغسله بالماء والثلج والبرد ، ونقه من الخطايا كما ينقى الثوب الأبيض من الدنس ، وأبدله داراً خيراً من داره ، وأهلاً خيراً من أهله وزوجاً خيراً من زوجه وأدخله الجنة وأعذه من عذاب القبر ومن عذاب النار
Ya Allah, ampunilah dia, kasihilah dia, maafkanlah dia, muliakanlah tempatnya, luaskanlah tempat masuknya, mandikanlah dia dengan air, salju dan embun. Sucikanlah dia dari segala kesalahan sebagaimana pakaian disucikan dari najis. Gantikan untuknya rumah yang lebih baik dari rumahnya, gantikan untuknya keluarga yang lebih baik dari keluarganya, gantikan untuknya isteri (pasangan) yang lebih baik dari pasangannya. Masukkanlah ke dalam surga dan lindungilah dia dari azab kubur dan azab neraka.
siti hajar binti sauud
1989-2014
