A Girl With Little Hope.

friends.

most of them are in relationship, 

some of them are married,

a few are mom-to-be,

happy but at the same time i feel jealous,

i want to be Mrs. Nazri legally,

i want to create my own story,

i want to be a wife to him,

i want to be a mother to his kids,

i want to be a daughter to his parents,

i want to be his partner forever,

i want us to be a good servant to ALLAH,

i want us to go to Jannah,

that is all i wanted,

O Allah please blessing me, him, and us,

ameen.

 

Over thinking does kill your happiness.

Life is good
It's what I see that
Makes me want to disagree
I better leave, I better leave
I better not.

 

(silly boy by Blue van)

we're celebrate my 23rd birthday at Langkawi Island. actually it is last minute decision, like ... instead of USS why dont we go to Langkawi? lets buy the tickets and so on.. we stay at my uncle's house at Kuah. he gave us a car, lucky me i knew some of the places and beaches. *perasan* since minyak naik harga, semua benda pun naik harga. bus ticket rm48 one way. damn expensive! i remember last time it only rm40. but the bus is so exclusive..  thumbs up! 

everything was fine. perfect!

p/s : i still didn't get my birthday present. cant wait! 

You Can Count On Me Like 1 2 3

Dear Bestie...

Holiday yawww!

25th April 2013.

save the date for the wedding.  a good friend of mine soon-to-be a wifey. 

Perak, coming soon.

A Friend

there must be something wrong somewhere. you always telling me your problems but now.. i don't know. did i do something bad? im sorry. i miss us together. *face down*

Safety is inversely proportional to freedom.

did you know that, this week is a stress-hopeless-pressure week? no?? well... final exam has begin today until 15th of December. everybody look depressed, trying to memorize the formulas and the facts, while me listen to music while online, chatting, eating.. pretending  like nothing happen. very calm. i guess i've prepared enough. if something goes wrong, i'll just accept that. because i hate doing what they are trying right now.. last minutes study, doing the exercises and acting like they are the only person who seat for the final exam. my other colleague is playing game on Ipad. at least she and myself have something in common... we still breathing. time flies really fast.. this is the end of the semester and i still confusing in remembering my classmates' name.(kelas pun jarang datang.. memang lah!). i cant help it.. 

dealing with life is not easy as i told. explanation wont solve anything. choosing the right thing is another problem. its like you will going up or down, or hell or heaven. i heard my brain murmuring, this person is crazy. she didnt love herself because she is using her brain non-stop. she keep thinking and planing and rethink and re-plan and re-plan again.. until it stuck. dear brain, i wish i cant let all things go and i can go freely. having fun with my young-life. please be patient, one day it will fade away. i promise. *smile* 

its his birthday. who is he? my best man ever..i dont know what should i give him. question mark are everywhere, plus i have problem with money. im clueless.. until two day before his birthday, im trying to do something new. so i bought two shirts and did DIY shirt for him.. its like express-present. i made him choose one of the shirts but he is so greedy. i took both of them. one is Pororo the penguin and the other is I <3 font="font"> N. im glad he love it. since he didnt like cake that much, i treat him an ice cream, the best in the town. Happy Birthday Dear. 

to you loves, i didnt leave you both. im always here if you need me. stop saying that im too busy or whatever.. im just having a hard time, let me settle down my matter then, let us share our story and gossiping like we used to, okay.. 

i had enough. wish me luck, good bye

A pretty face does NOT mean a pretty heart

everything was sucks.. in study, in life plus the family problem.. i dont think i can handle it by myself. i wonder my mummy can kept all these secretly, without telling anyone. not even ayah. it must been hard for her. from the expression of her face, i known that something is going on here. she must been suffered. i really want to hug her but this HUG thing is not my way.. i mean we .. I dont practically hug her or ayah or my other sibling. we all not a hugger- person. not trained well since we were kid. so, as im in home, im trying to do something to be everything meaningful like, i told mummy that i want to jog. the next day, ayah asked me to accompany him jogged at Taman Tengku Anis. it was really nice.. riding a motorcycle with him, all old memories were coming back because he used to send me to school and he were like mat rempit.. sangat laju okay, i still remembered this.. another meaningful memories was, we all sembahyang jemaah together. mummy teach me how to sembahyang properly(which is she learn from 30 minit with Ustaz Don a.k.a boyfriend mummy). like always, Amalina is seating for SPM, she ask me to teach her add math. . i know that i used to be a bad sister. right now, i am trying to be a good sister. be someone that they can rely on, someone that they can ask anything, as a friend not an enemy. so, i need to study harder. master in it. O Allah, please make everything smooth as silk. please make my dream come true. please make my only Ayah fit as usual. please keep my family close. please keep all my friends close because i hate fighting. i know i made a lot of mistake, if only i can turn to the past, i will not fall us apart. unfortunately i cant, so i just pray and i wont let it happen again. not anymore. friends is important too. they are just my second family. i love them all. amin.. 

Live In The Moment

a good friend of mine called me, asked if i want to go to Janda Baik with his family, and bring along my boyfriend. i asked him, he said why not, its must be fun. since both of us never have a change to go there. I always heard people talk about picnic at Janda Baik. therefore, im fully excited. =)  we(my bf and i) supposed arrived at his(my friend) place at 8 am but something had happened. so we arrived at 9 ++. Janda Baik is so beautiful (certain place).haha.. there were many chalets and home stay plus the price is reasonable.   we just rent the gazebo. its only rm20 per day including kitchen and toilet. tent will be given if you want to sleep there. that is awesome.

who's that girl? who's that chick?

i had a great weekend. Ada came here and we're having a last-sleepover for this year at Teeq's crib. as im remember, its been 8years that we're doing this. i mean the sleepover thing. every year since we were 14 years old. Ada  used to be a good listener. USED to, but now, she turns to nenek. i never really thought of herself as the blabbering type!faktor umur kot, haha!  Ada is the coolest person in the world but then, do not let her driving in KL. she will become worst. so funny :)  Teeq , never change. whenever or wherever she heard a music, she will dancing like crazy, follow the beat. that's her...

Teeq and i went to Puncak Alam, to see Teeq 's granny/cousin/aunt. meanwhile  Aqeel and  Ada  took my bf at Sunway. then we all met at Shah Alam. lepak-ing at mamak stall. both of them talk about cakes.  Ada gave me the cakes. sangat terharu ^^^. well, of course because this is unexpected thing. celebrating my birthday with them is awesome! here is my birthday cakes.

im twenty-two now, horeeyyyy!!

should i make 22 wishes??

i  WILLL !

 at KLIA before she fly back to Poland.

this is our MAMA :)

dont be sad  Teeq, we gonna see you next year.. insyaallah, your mama is my mama too. i'll try to take care of her. even im not you, we're sister right? love you.. 

smileeeee :))

hukkkkkk!! hahahhaa

sayonara lover.

love is a matter of chance

i think i was my first time i went to all the classes in a week after Hari Raya break. when lecturer asked me, why you didnt come to class? i told them bla.. bla.. bla.. and fuhhhh, succeed. seems easy right? not as easy as i tried to manipulate them and make some face expression. kalau masuk anak wayang ni, sure menang! haha.. but kids, please do not follow me. this is no good and i will never ever told my kid about this bad behaviour of mine. hows my study? since i miss the classes, im left behind but i do make some revision sometimes. so, everything just fine. yesterday, in circuit analysis class, madam did the revision about previous topic but i didnt come to her class. since i knew nothing, i just pay attention and keep my mouth shut. later on, she did some test 30 minutes before the class end. i was so nervous.. and im done, my friend behind asked me how to do this? using what method? how did i get this? .. so i teach her.. bla..bla.. bla.. actually i dont know either but i just try.. guess what? all my equations and the answers are correct.. tersenyum kejap. haha. just my luck :) anyway i need to study harder especially on basic electrical and physics. i dont know why they didnt like me..  mean while, i think i can handle on E.M wave. they say E.M wave is killer subject.. idk!

cant wait for tomorrow.. me and him have a secret plan on the weekend. i already google the place, the food  and everything. noted! even my boyfriend made some check-list. awesome. hopefully the things going well. weather please be kind to me... to us. let us having some .. what should i call that? a romantic moment? an adventure time together? a couple trip? a love for us? auww.. im so excited. i wont tell you anything until it happen. 

life is fair. life is karma. life is freaking awesome. i do have some-terrible-days. i do have some-bloody-hell-friends. i do have some-best-bestest-friends. and so on.. lately, things didnt go right as im wishing for and its goes upside down. i was loath, despise and my emotional unbalance. on that time, i was so mad as a hornet but i just see at the dark side. now, i feel free and happy. i still do have good people around me, the one that still cares about me, the one that i can rely on, refer to .. and they are my friends. my boyfriend not included.(kesian) haha. i used to think, why im isn't like her? why im not as beauty as her? why i dont have a boyfriend like her? why im not as brilliant as her? why im not wiser as her? (her is nobody) why?? why?? then i've found out that im glad to be me. even im not like her, i still have power to prove that im awesome more than her. first, i have a big family. too big to mention. second, i have my angels. both of them are very lovely. they can be as meow as a cat or Rawr as a tiger. i think im the lucky one. third, my boyfriend is like ayah. where to find someone like ayah? i wont tell more about him, i just wish, i hope he's gonna be my husband. fourth, my cousins. even though we rarely seen each other, we still keep in touch. but the most i love is Zydane. oh God! fifth, my colleague. i though i lost them all but the real is they all lost me. they still seeking me for advice. boyfriend matter, life matter or fashion.. this five element make me stronger and make my life happy and happier. basically, different people different life different opinion different taste and different problem. while you still alive, appreciate on what you have, be nice to people, positive thinking and enjoy the ride. lastly, what is your five element? are you happy?

this is priceless~ ~ ~

Our bond is extremely special 
It is unique in it's own way 
We have something irreplaceable 
I love you guys more and more each day

Power to the peaceful.

last week my schedule was fulled. iftar with my best buds. after a year met T. she is so skinny. im damn jealous T_T. 

DAY ONE : Johnny One Utama

 future doctor and future lawyer ^_^

hmm, future husband and wife hik hik hik *blushing* 

you'll never knew who us met on that day. secret bitch! anyway 1st iftar was great even the doctor is sick.

DAY TWO : Murni SS2

sweet kan? even sesat cari parking kat paradigm mall, we all still maintain cute :) (tak tahu baju dah basah kuyup)

double AA, sherlock holmes and his wifey. si kecik!

this is us before SICK. that night we sleep at Aqeel's crib and aqeel told us about how he approached Ada. some funny things happened. watching cerita hantu thai. watching my boyfriend takot hantu. haha

 DAY THREE : summer BBQ and steamboat

mama and daughters. we all pretty. yes we are =)

muka sakit. ini serious ! 

thank teeq for spreading the virus. i love you <3 p="p">

haha

drama never ends and haters are all the same

' B is soooooo rich, her dad is somebody. she own blah blah blah blah' or 'i knew that girl, she is F***king rich. she always lend me some money and blah blah blah'  or 'ooo... that girl, she is nice.her dad is just pegawai kelas A' you see the different? if you are rich, people will get closer to you, they even willing to be your slave. no money, nobody will be your friend. maybe some will be, friend but not friendly. today, i realize which is real friend and not. that all for today. selamat berbuka.

Something Borrowed Dance Scene

this is sweet..

miss the moment with my girls

screw up and see who still there

A Hundred Silent Ways

“A friend hold the tissue box when you splinter. Accepts confession, and yet won’t demand details.”

how to express the feeling?

looking at the calendar almost everyday because my bunny'll be home soon. 

im so this excited

cant wait to gather the three of us

 share some experience, gossiping, cooking, eating and travel
where is the next destination?

so muchhhhhhhh!!

Never become someone else for someone else.

went to Central Market  and Petaling Street with boyfriends. even though the three of us are out of money, we had fun. Central Market is a place where you can find some unique stuff, traditional things or art. i love that place unfortunately these two boys said its was boring place. well, we're rarely find something in common. kan? 

next week, we're planned to go to Masjid Jamek. my beau gonna buy some present to his parents since we're going back to KB on 7th June. he ask me what is a suitable present for his parents, i said just give your parents 'menantu'. haha :)